Don't play between 2 and 4 and expect to win

The players seem a lot better at this time which is why I rarely play,give me the late evening drunk donks anytime.One hand a flopped set slowplays made straight on Turn.Houses up at the end etc.Obv a lot of regs so noy not V Profitable.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3904502
Against a reg its obv I have AA but he still calls and hits with his KK.No prob.Lots of AA v KK in this session at least I get points.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3904507
This was horrible but luckily v a Short stack.I flop trips slowplay v his 2 pairs.I overbet the turn cos of Flushdraw but he correctly calls and hits on the end.

Pokerplex a new Ipoker skin have outdone themselves in the withdrawal stakes.I requested a withdrawal on Sun night and their T&C's say 4 business days but its already in my Neteller account.A good way to do business and keeps the customer happy.Mansion,Poker770 etc you could learn a lesson here.Thats why you will never get another penny off of me.

The delights of Fulham v Swansea await I might get a little game going in the pub.This is pure sickness since any 2 cards will do.Its just a case of whose got the biggest ones.
Finally best of luck to Joppa Road on his quest not to gamble for a year.Ihope he succeeds cos he seems like a nice guy.

I poker

Don't know what the problem is here today.Only 1/2 8 max tables at 11.30pm and then down to 1.Now there aren't any its v strange.
Week 5 of the pokerleague last night and I finished 5th managing to nurse a short stack for qiute a long time.Gobby cow paid off my flush with her run.A Straight hasn't entered her vocab yet.She still gets prials not trips etc.Only controversy was Dwell Up man betting losing and showing one other person his hand.Being entitled to see I asked him to show and he refused saying I hadn't paid.Fortunately the table backed up my "Show one show all stance".
2 games of footie over the weekend.Saturday Carshalton V Wealdstone 3-2 got very pissed.Always a good day out.
Sunday Fulham v WBA 2-0,only missedthe first 15 mins this time as Mrs P took a shortcut on that carpark known as the A3 which had roadworks,was I a happy bunny.It was great to see Bobby Zamora score hopefully that will give him some confidence.
Back again for the FA Cup replay tomorrow,3 games in 4 days is a bit much though.
Online I have had a good few days winning about 5 buy ins.No luck in various tornies though.
Highlight
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3897672P set over set
The poker will be on the backburner for the rest of the week cos i have my Cousin over from Austria so will be doing lots of touristy things.London Eye,Hampton Court etc

Don't play when pissed

It's been said many times before and it will be said many times in the future don't drink and play poker.This evenings little escapade has left me with a bruised shin and a broken laptop.It wasn't so much having my QQ beaten by AA but the fact that my screen went blank shortly afterwards.This made me smash it up and down on my shin which was V. painful and managed to break my screen.There is a great big black smash mark on it which means I can't see half of it.So i am off to read Zen and the Art of poker and The Poker Mindset which has a very good section re tilt and smoke a special cigarette whilst listening to Portishead.Laters

Andrew Strauss you're shit

No side has ever scored over 500 runs in the fourth innings to win a test match.I think 420ish is the record.So as well as not enforcing the follow on you batted about a session too long.You only needed 1 more wicket at the end don't you feel sick.Thank you for fucking up and conrgats to the West Indian tailenders.No doubt they were helped by Harmison's short pitched bowling,I always thought you bowled fast and straight at tailenders and made them play each ball.By then again I'm not a pro.

Mauled for 5 million,you've been mauled for 5 million

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgS1RFk1cU8
In response to your Silly Mauled by the Tigers.I think mugged by the Fulham is quite apt.
£5 million for a crock what a piece of business not that I'm bitter or anything
Jimmy Bullard I hope your leg gets better soon,I'm sure 50k a week for the next 4 1/2 years will cushion the blow.You will able to do a lot of fishing now.Not so sure about the golf though.

Sun Poker,Haircuts,Jade Goody and Abu Qatada

Decided to reload into Sun today to try and clear some more of my 500,000 initial bonus points.I wish I hadn't of bothered 2 buy ins down and a haircut beckoned.
I made most of it back this morning this hand helped
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3878840 10 10 v K 9
I go on wednesdays because its quite quiet and I can read the quality tabloids.
5 people before me predominatelty OAP's with fuck all else to do and I had to wait for an hour and a half.The standard of conversation was superb I learnt how to glue wood together,the value of old white £5 notes and a history of londons greek orthodox churches who won't let greeks who don't speak the lingo christen their children.All V Interesting.
Now these old boys have no hair so it don't take 20 minutes to snip the odd lock here and there.
Still I got to read the Mirror and Express,its a very classy joint.
Firstly Jade Goody who the fuck are you,some reality show bimbo who has prostituted herself to Max Clifford to get some money in.I don't care about her wedding,I don't want to watch her die live on TV.I am slightly jealous of the 750K that some tat mag is going to give her for her wedding photos.
For christ sake have some dignity.
One man who did was Mohammed Al Fayed ,our esteemed chairman.He was accused of indency with an underage girl despite the fact that at the time he was at a televised Fulham match.It took the clowns at the CPS 7 months to find no case against him.
WTF what a waste of taxpayers money.
Perhaps they and their buddies were researching Islam militant Abu Qatada,poor man can't be deported to Jordan cos he might be tortured even though there is a document stating that they won't.Probably no worth the paper its written on but it aint my problem.Ship him out and let him face the consequences of his odious actions.More waste of the taxpayers money.
Oh and Fulham stuffed by Man U

Don't play big pairs in the afternoon

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3872064 KK beaten by AA
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3872060 AA beaten by AKs when he hits 2 Kings
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3872058 AA beaten by KQo when he hits straight on the end

There was another hand that PT has not imported
ME KK
Short Stack 55 rr ai
Another Guy QQ.
I reraise and am called by QQ.
Flop K?? 2 hearts Turn A Heart River Another H
Guess who was the only one with a Heart luckily it wasn't QQ so I finished only slightly down.
I have now moved onto my other account and am currently up.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3872457 Found above HH now its not so bad.I limped with KK enticing QQ in and won 80c

Poker League week 4

Another instalment of our Courage League.It was bliss the gobby cow and the luckbox were on the other table.So we managed to play 3 levels with people who knew what they were doing it was great.When the tables merged gobby cow was still in being as passive as ever and generally slowing everything down.Even after being knocked out she stayed on the table and managed to piss me off gobbing off and generally putting me off.Next week its Ipod time.
People that dont call shorty all ins with any 2 piss me off.Bloke got away with it 3 times.Finally I
called his massive 73 o with A6 when I had flopped the 6 he was on a draw and didn't hit.
The hand that killed me was as follows.
I limped with 66 and the flop was 6JJ,the small stack went all in and I called as did one other,The flop was a 9 so I raised was reraised and went all in.The mongwomble shows J4 for trips.We both had massive stacks and i felt quite confident.Oh silly me the Shorty had QQ and the final card was a 4 to give equal stack a bigger house.
Every time I go all in I am ahead and it gets a bit disconcerting to be outdrawn all the time.
I was decimated.
Next hand I had KK he called with crap so i doubled up.
Three of us left I had about 4 big blinds,other guy had about 8 and the chip leader lots.
Luckily they clashed and CL hit a FH so I was 2nd at least and in the money.
Next hand A 10 v 10 3 all in and I double up.
Final hand QJ v 96 again all in and he hits the 6 so I lose.
Next week I just hope I am not on the fuckwits table.

Car crash hand night

Yesterday and this morning there were just so many big hands
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3865324
1010 v A10 he flops top two me the set,money all in
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3865267
JJ v AA hit J on the end which makes up for the hand below
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3865141
KK v AA if i would have bet the Q I reckon he would have folded.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3862391
Bulk standard AA v KK but i would like to know why the initial reraiser folded,poss QQ or AK
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3865137
Yet again I get it in ahead v Short stack but he hits his lucky straight card which makes up for the 2 earlier suck outs by me as detailed below
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3864817
He goes all in with 66 v my AKs I flop the flush against his trips and he doesn't hit his FH.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3864820
My AQ v his 77 sees me hitting a lucky straight.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3865498
KK V AKs i was far too passive and he hit his Ace on the end.Bit sick but my own fault.

Day trip to swansea How romantic.

After a whole 2 hrs sleep Mrs p woke me at 5 o'clock.Of cousre i was a happy bunny.we drove round the M25 to a mates house and then spent half an hour outside a freezing cold station.he had already bought missus flowers for a fiver at Tescos so he was in the good books.Me of course hadn't quite got round to it.Once on the train there were tables available which fucked up our game of poker.The ticket inspector came around and told us that Group Save tickets werent't valid because of the rugby.As we had purchased these on the day from the same company we protested rather a lot but to no avail.We would have to pay an excess at Swansea.we finally got a table at newport so could play for about an hour.We managed to get through the ticket machine at Swansea without paying so that was a result.A couple of beers and a cab later we were in the ground.Another new ground since i had only been to the Vetch years ago.I managed to sleep for most of the 1st half but saw our goal although didn't react to it because it was at the other end and no one was sure it was in.The 2nd half saw Swansea equalise and a draw was a fair result.Got on a bus back all very organised by the South Wales police who behaved impecably.
Straight back to the station ,went to the off licence so was set for the journey back.Played poker on the way back my mate missed the connecting train so we had to wait for him in Maidenhead,in the pub of course.When i finally got back was invited to a party but had a meal organised by Mrs P.So into the car and fell asleep,arrived at restaurant buggered off to get the missus some flowers.TY Somerfeld.Nearly fell asleep in the Restaurant since i had been on the piss all day and had a pretty average meal.
Got home and flaked out.Mrs P complained about the lack of a card so i bought her one today and said that I had hidden it.She managed to find it later.Result
She gave me my Valentines underpants which of course i am wearing and i am now back in her good books.
The moral of this is buy flowers and cards in advance so you can relax for the day.
Now I have to organise our 2nd wedding anniversary since she took me to Bruges last year.

Valentines day Poker

After my friday disaster I knew I had to play on saturday morning.Its lucky i did.I knew that that I would win.I have a theory that if I lose the previous day on an account then i will win the next day and vice versa.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3862051
1010 mini raise hit my trips,reraise get called,Turn pot sized bet to price out draws doesn't work,River gives me FH i reraise get called and win v two pairs.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3862058 aqvq7
AQ v Q7 I bet my TPTK get called,Trips on end and being scared just call down.I didn't know opponent so was happy with the win.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3862061
I can't see why oppo reraises with KQo but he does and flush kills any action so again happy to check call down.

Friday 13th Part 3

Ended the day 5 buy ins down and now know why I always go out on friday nights(gout permitting).
I have had a lot of 2nd best hands today.ie 9 flush beaten by 10 flush,straight beaten by a one card higher straight,trips beaten by a flush etc.
People seem patently unaware about odds which over the long term will benefit me its just so frustrating
But its finished now and hopefully Sunday I will recoup my losses.
So from Friday 13th to Valentines Day I don't know which is worse.

Friday 13th Part 2

Had a session this morning and Pokertracker decided to only import about half the hands.So I tried to reload them but with no success.I then purged my sessions in the hope that PT could reimport them.No success.I then tried to download an update patch,again no success and PT could not be found.So I did a System Restore.
This fucked up my McAfee program that seems to be in a loop of updating/scanning.
PT is back but still not recognising my earlier sessions
So instead of playing I have been messing around with the technie stuff.
Added to this there is a dodgy Windows update in the offing I can't wait.
And I have got gout in my toe so i can't walk and I'm off to Swansea tomorrow
Ho Hmm

Friday 13th started early for me.

Horrible evening at the tables after 12 o'clock.I was totally outplayed outluckboxed.I fucking hate AK
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3851958 AK v 107
First hand at the table.Limp fest as I raise with AK bb 4 callers Flop 10102 all check.Turn K so i call a $7 bet.last card 7.Idiot bets $20 I call He has FH 10s and 7s.I should have known
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3851953 AK v 43
Next one 43 o raises 2x when I am in BB with surprise surprise AKo Flop 5A8.I check raise.Next card a 2 I pot raise get a call.River I cr again and am beaten by a straight
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3851968 AK v 1010
AK suited this time I raise get reraised and call.Flop 2 diamonds.I was never given the right price but called 2 streets.I couldn't even bluff at the end.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3851947 44 vJJ
The hand that sent me over the edge.The guy slowplayed his jacks perfectly.I hit my trip 4s and hit FH on the end.I raised half pot got reraised to pot but instead of just calling I got greedy and put in a mini reraise.He went all in and the calling station in me called and lost.
On the bright side I did get a $10 bonus
On the downside I have to grind it all back starting $80 down.

Fatwa for Fitna

I wonder how long it is until Geert Wilders has a death issued on him.
Perhaps our nanny state has got it right for once,lets make sure that all people that hold extremist views are not allowed into this country.
Lets just hope its not jovial Jacqui Smith who decides.
Might post some hands later

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3369102968312745410 The film

Bruce Springsteen

Made Mrs P get up early this morning (oh well 9 o'clock) to get my Brucie tickets for Hyde Park.
I am glad to report that she was successful.
So it looks like he is unlikely to play Glastonbury.
It makes my AK getting beaten by KK (trips v 2 pairs) seem inconsequential in the greater scheme of things.
His new album is a bit shit though.I suppose it might grow on me.

A few hands from zero to hero in a day

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3842229
Horrible start to the day my QQ gets reraised 16x by AK of course the King hits but gives me a flush draw.I bet the Turn get reraised ,of course he also has Ace Spades so I'm fucked.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3842241
A 10 v A 6 hit my Ace and bet hit another and bet.Final card a 6 gives him the house.Ouch
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3842205 99
This was a little peach.Oppo A TAG rr 4x A4o (bit Loose)I call with 9s.Flop 3 clubs incl a 9.Bet and call.Turn another club I bet into his made Ace flush.Luckily he only calls.I have 10 outs and hit my quad 9.He bets I reraise and he calls.TYVM
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3842213
TAG rr 4x AK o v my 77 I call.I flop a set he cbs twice.Hits K on the end with the flush showing and straight possibilities so I ony call.
So from 2 buy ins down i managed to drag it back to being marginally up for the day.

My rant for the day are people on poker forums who are so far up their own arse.
Such comments as 'don't troll my thread',belittling others does not make you look big or clever.
You are just silly little boys who need to know how to respect others.GROW UP.

New technology

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/93143?utm_source=embedded_video

Unashamedly pilfered from another blog but very funny

Ian Curtis

Just watching a film about him,the lead singer with Joy Division who topped himself.
Fuck me he was talented and Joy Division were good

Another quiet day where I finished marginally up

Todays rant is noise pollution on buses.I am not allowed to smoke because it smells although there always used to be a downstairs.So why do I have to endure fuckwitts on their mobile phones with their vacuous meaningless shouted drivel about nothing in particular.
If its not this its little chavvies playing their jiggerbo shit on their phones.Use your headphones.I don't want to hear it and neither does anyone else over the age of 18

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3837106
The guy flops 2 pairs calls my bet checks the flop and I hit my bingo card on the end.Why play so weak
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3837091
Serial fuckwit constantly raising 3 times with any crap.I call hit trips bit of betting when he hits TP last card gives him trips and me the house TYVM
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3837128
AK v AJ the ace flops and he just won't fold.Again TYVM

Poker league tonite and the same guy fucks me up.I was a lot looser with multiple limpers and serial fuckwits.
They have obviously been watching High stakes poker cos the dwell ups when they have fuck all is classic.we have 18 minute levels so I don't want a 5 minute dwell up and then a dramatic fold.
And piss breaks go when you not the dealer or one of the blinds,same with going to the bar.
Hand of the day
86o bb check flop 45? lots of checks Turn is the lovely 7.I pot my disguised straight and mongwomble calls getting 2 to 1 on a flush draw (4 to 1)and of course he hits and I pay him off.
Left with v few chips I got it in with QJ on a 10 10 8 board and missed my gutshot Goodnight.
One of his other classics was calling an all in KK V A4 with the mighty 10 3 off.
Flop he hits 2 3s the A hits.To add insult to injury the final card is a 10 giving him a house.
He is such a lucky bastard.

A couple of hands

Now I am off tilt the cash is slowly creeping back up again.
I am going to play 3 tables maximum for now and not bother playing for points
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3821296
Different raise with QQ flop top set Idiot bets 5x so I just call.Turn gives me the house co both check.Bingo card jack comes on the end giving him a lower FH.So i bet get reraised and reraise back.
TYVM
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3829615
This hand was a pleasant surprise.TPA raises 7x called by shortstack and I call with my QQ.TAP xalls behind with K9Diamonds.
Flop 9 1010 SS mini raise I call TAP bets $9 so I call.Turn 7 he goes all in and I call.Subconsciously I put him on a 9 River 5 and I win.

had a day off from poker yesterday cos I went to a wedding.Lots of ukrainians and poles so vodka drinking contests ensured.Unfortunately the contents of my stomach ended up in the garden.On pain of death don't try to compete in these games cos it always ends in drinking neat vodka which on top of lager,champers etc is a v bad bad idea

Big up to Clarkson

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7873624.stm

He is Scottish
He has 1 eye
He has spunked away billions so he is an idiot

SO 100 % correct

Why I love South Park

Token's name was mentioned by Brian C. Anderson as an example of 'South Park' being, in the words of Andrew Sullivan, "the best antidote to PC culture we have

4 buy ins down not very happy with todays events

Time to stop play for today

QQ V fuckwitts AKo all in pre he hits

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3818936
had QQ again v AK.I expected a split at the end so again paid him off

Obv AA V KK all in pre he hits his King

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3818950

AA v 66 all in pre he makes a straight on the end
Its too depressing to comment on any more hands.

I watched Question time tonite and there was a Q about Carole Thatcher.
The guests by and large thought private conversations should just be that,even Will Young who I found a strange guest to have on.
But I have a new PC Speak world "a person of colour" forgive me if I'm wrong but then everyone in the world has a colour be it white,brown or black

2000 complaints re Carole Thatcher's treatment

All because of this little character.

Ho hmm

A couple of hands from yesterday

This image is for all those PC twats at the BBC.
This image was lifted off of the TShirt hell website which is closing down.Such a shame.
Before you complain this is racist but merely good old fashioned humour.












I had a problem player today who reraised my (4 bets to 14 times 2 bets to 7 times etc) .I only reraised with the premies and reckon I lost lots of value.If I reraised he would fold most times.I hate players like this.

You are supposed to get the bullets every 220 hands so I reckon today I have been v lucky 16 times in 1700 hands(better than double the average) and only lost twice.One hand is below and the other was when 1st position limped with 77 reraised my raise in the BB and called my reraise and hit trips (BARSTARD)

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3813310
3 of us had a flush but the board pairing killed the action.I don't mind calling bets here but feel v passive re Full houses.Even though I had the nut flush I was content to call smallish size bets.
a biggie on the end and I would have folded

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3813318
AA first position is a limp for me sometimes.I did,t like the 3 other limpers but the ace came.I just called a pot sized bet with 2 to a heart flush but wasn't happy to see the turn doubling up the clubs.So i reraise get raised and go all in.Its obvious to me again that he is flushing and he misses.Yet another example of someone who has read Harrington.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3813377
Unfortunately I managed to fuck this up.I limped again in MP with AA and played the hand far too passively I should have bet more on the turm when I hit 2 pairs cos I put him on a lower pair.
Unfortunately final card gave him the house and I paid off his value bet.

Carol Thatcher PC gone crazy

So Carol compares some tennis player to a golliwog in a private conversation gets reported by Adrian Chiles.She is now facing the sack from the BBC.
Is this really a news item.
This is the height of sheer stupidity.
Thats why I can't buy Robinsons Jam anymore cos the golliwog picture has gone.
When are these PC lefties realise that there are real problems in the world rather than pfaffing on about irrelevancies like this.

A few hands from tonite/the morning

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3803930

Trying to loosen up a bit and the deck hit me.What was nice was that I had 2 all ins and my hand held up.This sort of thing always sets me up for a good session

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3803937

Reading Harrington cash Vol 2 he says if there is a 20x win potential its alright to call with small pairs cos of the potential payoff.
I still can't work out why the guy with AA only called a 4x raiae

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3803946

The evenings dork.
This was his 2nd hand after i took a bit of his cash when he bluffed with fuck all.
I was more than happy to take his money.
Harrington says his big bet on the end should be taken at face value ie he made his flush but his betting pattern didn't back this up.If he was flush chasing why bet and reraise the turn.Still 3rd pair is apparently good enough to bet and reraise.The river card was just a beauty for me cos it gave him 2 pairs.

My main prob today is meeting AK too often for my liking when I have AJ or AQ and the Ace flops

Monthly Sun results before I realised that I was shit

Level Hands Amount BB/100
$1 180 145.35 40.38
50c 13,994 (118.56) (0.85)

The Poker Tracker rake on this was $384.15
Cos of the rakeback change I recd £162 in loyalty and points bonuses which is better than RB cos of the initial bonus
If only I could win there.
I will give it another go soon,finances permitting

Over the weekend I went to Fulham and missed the first goal I really shouldn't arrive 20 minutes late.If I was not a season ticket holder I wouldn't have bothered.Still 3-1 is a good result against Pompey.
Afterwards I went to a mates stag do in Windsor.The club was full of tottie and we had a really good time.Only three of our group managed to get thrown out.its a nice place to go for a night out.
I stayed at his house and it took me three hours to get home because I took a shortcut on the train.Unbeknown to me there were engineering works so I had to take the scenic view. VV Slow
The snow is a pain and it settles on my Sky box and freezes the picture.I had to go out twice in the night and clear the box of snow,it was bloody freezing.i finally gave up and watched the Superbowl on BBC
Today I've been in the garden clearing snow off of the plants cos they were dropping on the floor.
Obviously London transport are incapable of running a bus service so I didn't make the poker league tonight but i have had a good day on the online tables and am up on the day.
Its been a bit like weekend play since no one has been able to go to work